Governor voting idea: Punt, pray

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Maybe I'm usually a running team, but my halfback isn't going anywhere. So I think about throwing the ball, but the quarterback isn't very good either.

Or perhaps it's a different team, one that likes to throw the ball, but the passer looks terrible. So I consider going to the ground game, but my best running back stinks.

Worse, it's late in the game, and it's fourth down with 10 yards to go. What do I do?

With no solid options, I go with the only remaining choice:

Punt.

Granted, punting almost never wins a game. Punters don't get carried off the field in triumph on their teammates' shoulders. Punters don't grace the cover of Sports Illustrated.

But as a coach I know the other choices always fail. So I punt and pray for a miracle.

As a voter in the governor's race, I'll do the same thing. I'll punt and vote for Rich Whitney.

Rich Who-ney? The Green Party candidate on the ballot, along with Frick and Frack, also known as Blagojevich and Topinka.

Frick and Frack have more recognition and money. Surely one of them will win.

But I've never been a fan of holding my nose and voting for the least offensive of two smelly candidates. Do that, and you leave the voting booth feeling empty and hopeless.

I think a lot of folks feel that way about the prospect of deciding between Frick or Frack.

Of Frick and Frack, one just saw a big campaign fundraiser get indicted in a federal kickback probe. Then again, the other belongs to the political party that gets a ton of dough from a guy who allegedly helped that fundraiser do his dirty work.

Of Frick and Frack, one has been trying to explain that it's perfectly normal for a friend to give your kid a $1,500 birthday check, just coincidentally weeks after the friend got a state job. Meanwhile, the other repeatedly has denied criticisms about giving away no-bid contracts, including some to campaign donors - except (according to the latest denial) for maybe just a few times.

Of Frick and Frack, to cure Illinois' fiscal woes, one wants to lease out the state lottery while the other wants to legalize gambling in Chicago. Lawmakers frown at both ideas.

Of Frick and Frack, one likes to preen and posture, while the other comes off as tired and uncreative. Neither has much to say of substance.

So, in desperation, I took a peek at Rich Whitney. As far as debates, Frick and Frack don't let him join their reindeer games. The media ignore him.

I sifted through his Web site, and the Carbondale attorney seems like a thoughtful guy. But amid his complaints about state government, he doesn't often spell out solutions.

But I do like a Web site photo of him talking to a statue of Abe Lincoln. I don't know what great thoughts they shared. But at least he's not in the same photo as an indicted adviser or no-bid-contract winner.

Frankly, for all I know about Rich Whitney, he might spend his free time kicking puppies and sassing old ladies. Or vice-versa.

But I do know this absolute certainty about Rich Whitney: He's neither Frick nor Frack.

Is a third-party candidate a waste of a vote? I say it's a great way to tell politicians that we're sick of Frick and Frack - and their political parties.

On voting day, take a chance in this game: punt. It's the only good choice when the quarterback and running back turn out to be perpetually lame.

PHIL LUCIANO is a columnist with the Journal Star. He can be reached at pluciano@pjstar.com, 686-3155 or (800) 225-5757, Ext. 3155.