A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

 

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

 

See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse

 

Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over.

 

Bubba gets in line and when it’s his turn the preacher says, “Bubba, what you want me to pray about?” Bubba says, “Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.”

 

So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba’s ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while. After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, “Bubba, how’s your hearing now?”

 

Bubba says, “I don’t know preacher, it’s not until next Wednesday.”

 

These two poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid’s house. The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool and all the kids go in. As they’re changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one, “Did you notice how small the rich kid’s penises were?”

 

“Yeah,” says his mate, “It’s probably because they’ve got toys to play with.”