No one wanted them in the 1^st place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell —— They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

 

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

 

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services’.

 

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijacking would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

 

Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

 

Sincerely, Bill Clintoon

 

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the 1^st one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.”

“Could you jack off?” she says. “I feel like crap ——”

 

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of crabs. A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out.

Shortly before landing in New York, she announced to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up —— so she took them home and ate them herself.