About a week and a half ago this little yellow reminder started popping up on my computer screen telling me it was time to renew my anti-virus subscription. Turns out they will “upgrade” me to the new version for the same price AND I get three licenses. Such a deal. So I type in all my particulars and the new disc arrived yesterday. It took almost an hour to get all the old out and all the new in. I scheduled it to scan at 2:00 a.m. and the hard drive is still chugging away as I type. I don’t know if that means it is slower than the previous version or if it is looking harder for viruses. Whatever ... it just better not let any slip by.
Tracey gets to sleep in this morning until 8:00 and I should have too but my internal alarm clock woke me up at 4:30 anyway. So here I am all bleary-eyed waiting for the coffee to brew and just looking for something to gripe about!
Make sure you scroll down towards the bottom today and the next couple days to see the pictures of Tammy’s new kitchen!
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in”.
I received 3 emails from Tammy last evening — each with a new picture of the kitchen remodeling progress. I am going to share those pictures just to make everyone else is as jealous of her beautiful new kitchen as we are! But I am going to keep you in suspense (and not overload you with envy) by only posting one picture at a time. You will just have to wait to see them!
I haven’t written about or taken pictures of the kitchen progress. We got quite a bit accomplished this weekend so I took a few pictures. Tammy
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Border Disorder
