Curmudgeon

The Taurus died on Ben yesterday.  He was going down the road and the gauges quit working and the engine started running rough.  He pulled over at the intersection of Rt. 9 and Springfield Rd. and the engine died.  He called me.  He and his buddy Kyle were going to Pekin to get some lunch at Culver’s so Kyle came by too after Ben called him.  I drove out there and tried to start the car but the battery was either dead or the connections too bad or whatever.  I suspect either a dead battery or a dead alternator ... or worst case ... some mouse chewed wires or something like that.  So I sent Ben and Kyle off to do their thing.  I thought about getting some tools and tightening the battery connection, and jump starting it to get it home, or just gambling on a new battery.  I finally just decided the hell with it and I called the AARP Premier Motoring Plan to get a tow truck scheduled to haul it to the repair shop — and the fun began.

I don’t know what part of the plan is Premier but I must have missed it.  First the connection was terrible and my cell phone was maxed out for signal strength ... so I must have been running through a dozen switchboards between my phone and the young lady who answered the phone.  Add to that the fact this young lady was hard to understand and seemed incapable of rudimentary speech or spelling.  After we got through all the information concerning who I was and what my mother’s maiden name is ... she put me hold ... twice.  Then she tells me she can’t find a provider in my area that is “available”.  We discussed “available” a bit and I decided that was a losing battle so I ask her, “What now?”  She tells me I will have to call somebody on my own and send them the receipt for reimbursement ... so I spend a couple minutes looking for a frozen pen and getting it to write.  Then I write down the “incident number” (Gotta have that to get reimbursed!) the address to send it too, etc. etc.  So after wasting about a half hour to get my “incident number” I call a couple places I was fortunate enough to have in my phone memory and get a tow arranged.  I don’t know what you do if you don’t have a phone book handy ... call the cops I guess?  Speaking of which, a Tazewell County deputy arrives on the scene with lights flashing.  He was a nice enough guy once we got past the driver’s license and insurance routine.  So I sat for another 45 minutes or so waiting for the tow truck.  Now we wait to see what the damages are.