Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

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I met Tracey at Ruby Tuesday’s on her way home from her work trip.  She seemed a bit frazzled after all the travel and endless meetings.  I can relate.  It is amazing to me how much money companies will waste to strut their stuff in “offsite” meetings.  What a waste.

We spent the evening watching Hillarity and Obama debate in Texas.  I really hope she is knocked out of the race because I couldn’t take listening to her voice were she to become President.  After the debate it seemed all the commentary on CNN was directed at trying to find ways to give her points when she clearly lost the debate on substance and really blew it with her jab at Obama for using a line from a friend in his speeches.  As if Hillarity doesn’t have speech writers?  Her sanctimonious pule at the end really bothered me because I thought it was obviously insincere, merely an attempt to sound like a candidate for sainthood.  All in all I can’t imagine a former Wal-mart board member who would stay with a cheating husband in the Whitehouse ... again.  But then the only reason she has stayed with Bill is so she could be a Senator and now, try to be a President.  She would still be a second rate shyster in Arkansas if she hadn’t hitched up with him.

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The front page of the Thursday Feb. 21, 2008, edition of the New York Times featuring a story about presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain, R-AZ, is shown in this photo in New York, Thursday Feb. 21, 2008. McCain denied a romantic relationship with a female telecommunications lobbyist and said a report by the paper suggesting favoritism for her clients is ‘not true.’ (AP Photo/Richard Drew)

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Health Question & Answer Session
Q:  I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? 
A:  Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it ...  Don’t waste them on exercise.  Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer?  Take a nap.

Q:  Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A:  You must grasp logistical efficiencies.  What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q:  Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.  Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

Q:  How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A:  Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:  What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A:  Can’t think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A:  You’re not listening ...  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.  In fact, they’re permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A:  Definitely not!  When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.  You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  Are you crazy?  HELLO Cocoa beans!  Another vegetable.  It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.  And remember:  “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “WOO HOO, What a Ride!”

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Lego Church

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Listen carefully to what Anderson Cooper is saying and read the Closed Captioning.  Does “Senator Clinton” sound like “al Qaeda” to you?

CNN - Obama & al Qaeda

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Olbermann: Lobbyist Scandal for McCain

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