I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous
to our liberties than standing armies.Thomas Jefferson |
| I finally finished doctoring my sister DD’s computer yesterday. The problem turned out to be the notoriously slow Norton Anti-Virus. It wasn’t getting all the program updates for some reason. I uninstalled it and made sure I got all the Windows XP upgrades, updates, patches, fixes, etc. loaded, installed, etc., etc., etc. Then I reinstalled Norton again again. Still no joy, but after waiting for what seemed like forever the stupid program finally loaded and installed one last update that really improved the speed problem. I sometimes wonder if any of the people who write these programs have ever had to try to make them work out here in the real world. Microsoft seems to be getting worse instead of better. Later today I will take everything back apart and box it back up so I can take it back to DD Saturday when we go out to eat with her and Mom. I never did get her email up and working but that was because I don’t know her password and she can get that I think. I hope. |
A man uses a public lavatory decorated with female mannequins at Sao Joao da Madeira shopping center in northern Portugal in this March 13, 2008 picture.
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How Old Am I?
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?’
‘About 32,’ is the reply.
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’
The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’ Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’ While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay...How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
The old man says, ‘Promise you won’t get mad?’
‘I promise I won’t,’ she says.
‘I was behind you in McDonald’s.’ |
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About
Border Disorder
