As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

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Jake and I took a walk up to the mailbox  and back yesterday and it was beautiful outside.  The temperature was just perfect ... with the sun on my skin I could just barely feel the breeze.  Our neighbor to the north has 3 geese in his yard already.  There is an obvious pair and then this lone fellow hanging around the edge.  Tracey says he is a geek goose and probably can’t get his own girl.  There is something sad about watching the poor fellow waddle along behind the other two, always staying about 20 yards from them.  They were all three honking and carrying on about Jake walking up the road, as if Jake could care about a bunch of silly gooses.  Jake tried to rip my arm off by chasing after a squirrel though.  I just managed to hang on to the leash but it was near thing.  He’s getting old but he still has some surprises in him.  I would never have thought he had the energy to chase a squirrel but maybe that is ageless for a dog.  I think it is hard wired.  See a squirrel — chase it!  It appears most of the birds are already back.  We saw some tree swallows and blue birds checking out the new bird boxes Tracey put up and a barn swallow swooping in and out of our garage.  I need to make sure the boys start closing that garage door or we will have swallows nesting in there making a mess of things.  Bluejays, robins ... all the usual suspects except I haven’t seen a humming bird yet.  There was even a red tailed hawk cruising the Dillon Creek looking for lunch.  I haven’t seen any yet but Tracey says the herons are back too, that she had seen one landing in the creek across from the pasture.  Spring is here and it’s getting to be a busy place again.  We will know for sure when the latest crop of pesky little raccoons start marauding about, getting into everything with their delinquent attitudes.  It will start with them peeking into the sunroom or the kitchen slider and making Jake bark and snarl.  He just hates when they do that!

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Representative tries to put the fear of God in atheist

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Iraqi Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr speaks south of Baghdad May 25, 2007. The movement of Sadr will be barred from taking part in the political process and elections unless it disbands its Mehdi Army militia, U.S. television network CNN quoted Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki as saying. As if either the U.S. or al-Maliki have any say or authority over al-Sadr.  It would appear he is currently running the country.

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Can You Spell Stupid?

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Why Dogs Bite People

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To all Employees:
Effective April 2008 Dress Code

1.  It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.  If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2.  If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3.  If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holidays:  Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.  They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Compassionate Leave:  This is no excuse for missing work.  There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.  Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.  In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon.  We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use:
1.  Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.  There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the bathroom stalls.  Please respect this.

2.  At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3.  After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.

4.  Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
1.  Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2.  Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3.  Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company.  Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Management

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Now THIS Is A Deer Stand

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Manuel Went Down to Georgia

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Ashcroft - Osama / Obama

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Hi Big Brother!
  I don’t have your e-mail address; send me something.

  THANK YOU !!! This machine hasn’t been this fast since I was hooked up at your house...2003. I had to call tech support to get e-mail. You were right, there was something about my password that wasn’t working.

    Thanks again! Love DD