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The Legel Report
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April 23, 2008


Happy Birthday Michele Neal!
Tracey and I watched some of the poll results from Pennsylvania but we left the sound off most of the time.  I just can’t handle listening to Hillarity screeching she won and the MSM pundits agreeing it won’t be over until she does find a way to win.  They kept saying Obama needs to “close the deal”.  He’s winning by every measurable standard ... more votes, more delegates and more states ... sounds like he has closed the deal to me.  But MSM wants a right wing candidate in the Oval Office and Hillarity is as good as McSame if it comes down to it.  And the MSM pundits kept talking about their love of McSame — sounds like serious Man-Love going on there with some of them like Chris Matthews and pal Timmy.

This is the kind of picture we have all come to expect of the Clintoons.  Bill with his mouth wide open and Chelsea with her lower lip hanging like it is full of snuff or something.  All that is missing is Hillarity with bulging eyes and goofy grin.
The South

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.  He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help.  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
 
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”
 

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.  “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.
 
“Henry had a stroke of some kind.  He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
 
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired.
 
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter.  “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”
 

Louisiana

A senior at LSU was overheard saying...  “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .”

When asked why, he replied he’d rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
 

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
 
Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”
 
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got his license number.”


Georgia

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75.  The trooper asked, “Got any I.  D.  ?”
 
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
 

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.  A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.
 
The man replied, “I have a flat tire.”
 
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
 
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  Hey, it don’t make sense to me neither.”
 

And this from South Carolina

”You can say what you want about the South, but I ain’t never heard of anyone retiring to the north.”
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Noah and Mom looking through the photo book we got him from Shutterfly.  Noah brought all those cool pictures home from his Hawaii trip and it seemed the natural gift to make him a memory book of the trip for his birthday!

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