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Shane Hillard of Marquette Heights carries a flag with other Caterpillar workers Monday afternoon during the annual Labor Day Parade in downtown Peoria. “You can’t stimulate the economy making 10 bucks an hour,” he said when asked why the labor movement is important to him.

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Why Dogs Bite People

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The Model
Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.  After a few days, a young, attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a nearby city center studio for a few weeks.  She said she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays but would pay for the whole week.  Doris showed her the house, and they agreed to start straight away.

“There’s just one problem,” explained the model.  “Because of my job, I have to take a bath every night, and I notice you don’t have a bath.”

“That’s not a problem,” replied Doris.  “We have a tin bath tub out in the yard, and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water.”

“What about you’re husband?” asked the model.

“Oh he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings,” replied Doris.

“Good,” said the model.  “Now that’s settled, I’ll go to the studio and see you tonight.”

That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model.  After stripping her clothes, the model stepped into the bath.  Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.  The model noticed Doris’s staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimwear or underclothes.

Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity, and he did not believe her.  “It’s true, I tell you!” said Doris.  “Look, if you don’t believe me, tomorrow night I’ll leave the curtains slightly open, and you can peek in and see for yourself.”

The next night, Fred left as usual, and Doris prepared the bath for the model.  As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.
Doris looked toward the curtains and pointed toward the model’s naked pubic area.  Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.  Later, Fred returned and they retired to bed.

“Well, do you believe me now?” she asked Fred.  “Yes,” he replied.  “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.  But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?”

“Just to show you the difference,” answered Doris, “But I guess you’ve seen me millions of times.”

“Yes,” said Fred, “I have--but the rest of the dart team hadn’t.”

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I know I came down hard on the Labor Day theme today but it is close to my heart this year because this Labor Day is the exact anniversary to the day that I retired five years ago from Caterpillar ... one of the worst managed companies in America.  If not for those who went before me in the labor movement and the efforts of my own union over the years I would not have been able to retire from that place with even a modest pension and expensive health benefits.  The real shame is that too many people today believe the myths and lies of corporate America when it comes to unions.  They don’t understand the benefits the working class are now losing because of their ignorance and weakness.  I regret that future generations may never know what it is to retire from work ... that they will have to work until they die.  And I fear at the rate things are changing, my retirement may not last and I might have to go to work somewhere at minimum wage in some dump like Wal-mart.