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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
The Internets
Comments   (1)   /Blog/2008/09/10/pagetop.php

Harley-Davidson motorcycle riders and motorcycle enthusiasts gather at the Summerfest Grounds in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, August 29, 2008.  People are gathering at several locations in Milwaukee for a five-day event celebrating the 105th anniversary of Harley Davidson.

And I bet none of them crashed their bikes and mashed their toe!
Comments   (1)   /Jokes/2008/Cartoons/0910.php
Comments   (1)   /Pictures/2008/pain/0910.php
Job Interview

A man with no ears and a mashed big toe is trying to find a new reporter for the evening news.

The first guy walks in and the boss says, “This job requires you noticing a lot of details.  What is one thing you notice about me?”

And the guy says, “You got no ears man!”

So the boss yells “Get the out of here!”. 

So the next guy comes in and the boss says to him, “This job requires you noticing a lot of details.  What is something you notice about me?”

And the guy says, “That’s easy.  You got no ears!”

So the boss says, to him, “Get out of here!”

So the next guy goes in and the boss says, “This job requires you to notice a lot of details.  What is one that you notice about me?”

So the guy says, “Your wearing contacts!”

And the boss says, “Yeah, how did you know?”

So the guy replies, “Well you can’t wear glasses cause you ain’t got no ears.”
Comments   (0)   /Jokes/2008/0910.php
Comments   (1)   /Jokes/2008/FunPhotos/0910.php
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Well I had my first crash on my motorcycle last evening.  We had gone to Morton to get Tracey some peach pie (she has been wanting some for a week now ;-) and I decided to stop at the Casey’s on the way to get a diet Pepsi because I hadn’t had a soda in a month or so.  As I was pulling in a red pickup truck started backing out in front of me.  I swerved to the left thinking I had plenty of room to get around the guy but he just kept backing up.  When I finally got around him I had lost too much momentum and was real close to the curb on my left.  The bike wobbled a bit and instead of accelerating to get some balance I put my left foot down.  The pavement sloped to the left and when I put my foot down it overbalanced to the left and down I went.  I mashed my left big toe, bruised my left hip pretty good and wonked my head on the ground hard enough to bring tears to my eyes.  I’m just glad I had my helmet on or I might have rung my bell good.  I’m sure I would have survived without the helmet but I would have had a big knot on my head and a head ache.  Of course the first thing I did was jump up and look at the bike!  I scratched it up some and bent the mirror but nothing too terrible.  I hurt my pride more than anything and that is okay too, that will heal the fastest.  I’m hoping I don’t lose my toenail and really hoping I learned another lesson.  I should have stopped instead of assuming a Morton driver was going to stop backing up like a normal person would have.  Still, it was my fault for not stopping.  Oh well.  Another lesson learned without too much payment demanded.  Although Tracey went in to get me the soda while I hobbled around the parking lot ... it was still goooood!  There’s nothing like an ice cold soda after you haven’t had one for a while.  Or after you have crashed you motorcycle and humiliated yourself.
MjL 10 Sep 2008, 05:12 a.m.
Hey now...some Morton people are normal...I think!  ;)
All for a soda?!?!?  Water is better for the body! 
Take care of that toe!
Tammy 10 Sep 2008, 05:51 a.m.
I think most Morton people are normal ...
until they get behind the steering wheel ;-0

I’ve been drinking water.  And I do get a soda now and then, usually at Mom’s house, but I quit drinking it all the time because you are right ... water is better.  I also can’t take the chance somebody (probably from Morton!) will give me REAL soda instead of diet when we go out to eat.  I’m pretty sure that has happened a couple times and I don’t have the taste buds to tell the difference, but my blood sugar meter yells at me later and that is all I can figure happened.
MjL 10 Sep 2008, 07:08 a.m.
Guess yesterday just wasnt our day Michael,I was at Kroger’s reached up to the top shelf of one cold storage areas,something very sharp up there goughed a big chunk out of my little finger,an employee was moping the floor not far off,I asked him if he would get me a band-aide while dripping blood on the floor,he gave me a couple sheets of paper towel which I used to apply pressure to said wound,before rushing off for a band-aide bless his heart,at any rate thank God for small blessings it could have been my thumb.
JEL 10 Sep 2008, 09:09 a.m.
Youch!  Sorry to hear that!  I can still get around but I probably look like a wounded drunken elephant since my left foot and left hip don’t want to cooperate.
MjL 10 Sep 2008, 09:22 a.m.
I love the “Toe” Theme today and your coment on each section. I wanted to rant about something so where else better! I have a school survey I am suposed to fill out... circle yes or no for questions. Question number 3 asks, “I am making efforts to be enviormentally friendly”. Is this a legal question? I think I will respond N/A! I don’t want my teacher grading my papers for the whole year to think bad of me if i answer either. This is a complete joke. A leter question asks “should be illegal for pregnant women to smoke?”  This stuff just makes me mad!

Hope toe gets better!
K. Monroe 10 Sep 2008, 7:58 p.m.
Hi Kyle,
I think they can pretty much ASK anything they want to.  If the survey is anonymous I wouldn’t worry too much about it, if not ... LIE!  Big Brother questions are a pain too.  Nobody wants a health care system to help a pregnant woman afford to have a child but they want to decide what she does with her body?  Go figure.

The toe is a little better and so is my hip.  I’m sure I cracked or bruised all 30 of the ribs on my left side.  If I have more ribs than that ... then the rest of them too and if I have fewer than that ... if feels like more.
MjL 11 Sep 2008, 03:36 a.m.

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