 | Thursday, January 29, 2009 |  |
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01/29/09 Quote «The Legel Report»Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.Walter Kerr |
 | The prolific Pulitzer Prize-winning US novelist John Updike, seen here in 2004 and whose books and short stories famously chronicled small-town American life, has died at age 76, his publisher Knopf said. |
Dog Haiku
 The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. And, though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last three decades. One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their car crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes, freshly pressed, in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.” The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
“Why, nothing,” Peter replied, “remember, this is your reward in Heaven.”
The old man looked out the window and saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. “What are the green fees?”, grumbled the old man.
“This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You can play for free, every day -- any starting time you wish.”
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages and a fountain of champagne.
“Don’t even ask,” said St. Peter to the couple. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.”
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?” he asked.
“That’s the best part,” St. Peter replied. “You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!”
The old man pushed, “No gym to work out at?” “Not unless you want to,” was the answer.
“No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...”
“Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.”
The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your fat-free bran muffins. We could have been here twenty years ago!” |
Ben has been thinking he would like to be a biology teacher some day. His teacher is encouraging him to sign up for a Summer Research Program offered by the American Cancer Society. He would work full time for 8 weeks and get $2000 for the summer. Sounds like a great way for him to get some ink on a resume as well as have an interesting job this summer. We shall fill out the papers and see what happens.
Tracey is taking today off since she is working this coming Saturday. Unfortunately she is scheduled to work another double shift Saturday so she will be pretty well pooped out for the weekend.
Weekend after next she will be in sunny Mesa, Arizona to visit with Noah and Denise. Tracey is REALLY looking forward to this trip ... she misses her Noah. |
MjL 29 Jan 2009, 06:00 a.m.
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