04/19/09 Quote «The Legel Report»| Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. The Internets |
 | A handout image from ITV, shows Scottish charity worker Susan Boyle performing on Britain’s Got Talent (BGT) television show in Glasgow. Talent show judge Piers Morgan offered Friday to kiss Boyle, who said she had never been kissed before becoming an international YouTube sensation this week. |
 A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde .
“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,?” asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie...”
“I didn’t ask for any details”, the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?”
Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.....”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde ‘s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie”.
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded.
“Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.
I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, “How are you feeling?”
“Now I ask you , what would you have said?” |
19 Apr 2009, 00:00 a.m.
Moles! I ventured out to mow the grass yesterday morning and much to my disgust found buried beneath the tall grass ... mole trails. All over the front yard! I know they have got to live somewhere but ...
Every fall I quit mowing about a month too early and every spring I lament that the grass is too thick too soon. I am sure I will never learn either. And by the way ... I dumped the oil into the engine and it still looks a bit overfilled but the heck with it! I’m am tired (and sick) of messing with it altogether!
Saturday Evening @ Mom’s Alan & Glo joined Mom, DD, Tracey and I for dinner at the Cracked Barrel. I told them we wanted the big round table just inside the dining room door but we couldn’t have it because one of their self-absorbed managers was eating his dinner there. Figures, the ego it takes for one person to preempt one of only two large tables made to seat 8 people ... and all because he is the “manager”. Especially on a Saturday evening. Go figure.
We had some interesting conversation including whether homosexuals are born “that way” or choose to be. What really constitutes police brutality and why don’t cops go to jail for beating people when they are cuffed and laying defenseless on the ground. Customer service calls, the best and the worst. Just to mention a few.
And The Winner Is ... Aaron & Ben went to a Wii competition yesterday afternoon and Aaron made second place, winning $50 in store credit at whatever game store they go to for these competitions. Aaron then buys stuff for his friends and they pay him cash ... so he is doing quite well with these competitions. I don’t know if Ben won anything or if he even competed this time, but I know he has in the past. |
MjL 19 Apr 2009, 04:48 a.m.
 This was the event that prompted the discussion of homosexuals last evening. I personally think the owner was within his rights to place the sign, although it may not have been the wisest thing to do. I don’t think the city council needs to get involved though.
Chicago Tribune
Peoria Journal Star
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MjL 19 Apr 2009, 1:14 p.m.
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