An endangered sea turtle is released in Juno Beach, Fla. Officials in Florida helped rescue nearly 3,000 turtles from frigid waters in the past week, plucking them from the ocean, lagoons and rivers as temperatures dipped into the 30s along the coast.
A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, Turner Brown.”
The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, “Are you alright?”
In a very weak voice the little guy says, “Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?”
The big dude says, “I saw the curious look on your face and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Thank God! I thought you said ‘Turn Around’.
The other day, Avril and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error. To her credit, Avril finally said, “Look. I’ll tell you what. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right.”
“Fine.” I said.
She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, “I’m wrong.”
Ben participated in his last Scholastic Bowl tournament last evening. He brought his name plaque home with him. Ben finishes out the season as the Most Valuable Player on his team having answered the most questions. I know he had a good time and is a bit nostalgic about this part of his life being over. I suspect there will be a lot of that over the next few years as he and Aaron leave high school and move on to the next chapters of their lives.
Tracey and I watched the movie Uncle Buck the other night with John Candy and the stupid TV network cut out some of the best scenes. It has been bothering me ever since and I have decided I have to get the DVD out and look for those scenes just to make sure my memory is correct about them. That and it seems a blasphemy somehow to cut up a good movie to put commercials into it.
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