A blonde’s house is on fire when she pulls up to her residence in the country. From her cell phone, she calls the fire department in a panic. The dispatcher tells her to settle down; they need to know how to get to her house.
The blonde replies, “Duh, in your big red fire truck.”
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, ‘Father, may I ask a favor?’
‘Of course child. What can I do for you?’
‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electric hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?
‘I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.’
‘With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.’
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, ‘Father, do you have anything to declare?’
‘From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.’
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, ‘And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?’
‘I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.’
Roaring with laughter, the official said, ‘Go ahead, Father. Next!’
I like the way this fellow asks questions. I can see that he is trying very hard not to make assertions but to ask simple questions without leading them too much. I am still so very surprised at the ignorance so many people display about their own country. Very Sad.
I just returned from dropping Tracey off at work. It is pouring rain so I didn’t walk the lagoon. If it quits raining this morning I might walk Allentown or I might just take a day off. We shall see.
Today marks seven years I have been retired now. I like that. It has been long enough now I have to make myself think about how miserable Caterpillar was most of the years I worked there ... there was a time I had to make myself STOP thinking about it. I like this much better.
MjL 01 Sep 2010, 05:29 a.m.
I just tore the month of August off my little calendar and tossed it in the trash can. I never used to think about that sort of thing but now I notice how the months go by. And how they seem to go by faster. I must be getting old.
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