01/28/2011 Quote «The Legel Report»| Life is far too short not to have a little umbrella in your drink. | | Leigh Standley |
 | An 8-week-old male red fox is seen among his toys at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. Federal wildlife officials discovered a litter of nine kits near Paso Robles after a trapper killed the mother. Because the red fox is not native to California, these offspring could never be returned to the wild. Six Flags Discovery Kingdom was one of several wildlife facilities adopting a kit to raise for educational purposes. |
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 One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. “I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.”
“But, where did you get the tools?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware.”
The guy is stunned.
“Let’s row over to my place,” she says.
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please.” “Would you like a drink?”
“No! No thank you,” the man blurts out, still dazed. “I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.”
“It’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman. “I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.”
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. “This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?”
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. “Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There’s something I’m certain you feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for, right?” She stares into his eyes..
He can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“You mean...”
He swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, “You’ve built a Golf Course?” |
Photo Du Jour
Photo Du Jour
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Here’s Looking At You! That’s what that picture above makes me think.
Aaron has been “mentoring” the Tremont High School robotics team. He says it is because it will look good on his resume, but I think he just likes to play with geeky stuff. I would too but I’m too old to go back to school.
Tracey returned home last evening from two days of meetings. She didn’t have anything to say about the meetings but was happy to get a steak dinner instead of the usual rubber chicken. Glad something turned out right. She has to drive to Canton today for another day of meetings there. I can’t imagine how business gets anything done with all the stupid meetings. I guess it keeps about half the employees employed. If they didn’t have meetings to go to they wouldn’t have anything to do at all? |
MjL 28 Jan 2011, 05:57 a.m.
I’m sitting at Bob’s and the guy behind me is hacking, coughing and making very digusting gurgling noises. I don’t know why he isn’t home sick in bed but I sure don’t appreciate him sharing his illness so noisily! I’m going to get out of here before I get infected!
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MjL 28 Jan 2011, 09:03 a.m.
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