05/23/13 Quote «The Legel Report»
|Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.|
W. C. Fields
|Arthur is 90-years-old. Hes played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day, he arrives home looking downcast. Thats it, he tells his wife. Im giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I hit the ball, I cant even see where it goes.|
His wife sympathizes with him and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, Why dont you take my brother with you and give it one more try?
Thats no good, sighs Arthur. Your brothers a hundred and three. He cant help.
He may be a hundred and three, says his wife, but his eyesight is perfect.
So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and asks, Did you see the ball?
Of course I did! replied the brother-in-law. I have perfect eyesight!
Where did it go? asks Arthur.
I dont remember.
Photo Du Jour
MjL 23 May 2013, 03:00 a.m.
|1701 After being convicted of piracy and of murdering William Moore, Captain William Kidd is hanged in London.|
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had invented bifocals.
1922 Daylight Saving Time was debated in the first debate ever to be heard on radio in Washington, DC.
1934 The Auto-Lite Strike culminates in the Battle of Toledo, a five-day melée between 1,300 troops of the Ohio National Guard and 6,000 picketers.
1937 Industrialist Robber Baron John D. Rockefeller died.
1994 Pulp Fiction won the Golden Palm for best film at the 47th Cannes Film Festival.
1995 The first version of the Java programming language is released.
MjL 23 May 2013, 04:55 a.m.
MjL 23 May 2013, 04:59 a.m.
|I ran across a term yesterday on the Internet I hadnt heard before. Disaster Porn. There are several critics chastising major news networks like CNN of simply preying upon the victims of disaster long after there is any real news to report. After watching Anderson Cooper interview an injured woman in the hospital about the loss of her daughter in this latest tornado ... I agree. It really is kind of disgusting to see them badger the victims. The only upside is that this drama does help to collect money for the victims through donations but I still wonder if it is worth it.|MjL 23 May 2013, 05:07 a.m.
|I never thought of a car as part of the family like a pet, but I guess so. We traded the 1996 Monte in last night for Andy. He will now be driving a silver (with black spoiler) 2005 Chevy Impala. They sure dont let you say good bye to your oldie but goodie either. Wow...we arrived in the Monte and when we left, it was nowhere in sight! I guess they figure they should do it like a bandaid - fast and quick so it doesnt hurt so much. We bought that Monte in 2001 for 5988.00 and drove it for 12 years. It was a great car!!|Tammy 23 May 2013, 07:02 a.m.
|That is very much like how we all felt about our old blue Astro van. Only we saw it get hauled off to the junk yard. We literally drove it to death. There have been cars that I hated (AMC Pacer), cars that I loved (1984 Fiero) and then the cars that just become trusted friends like our late van and the recently traded Blazer. So many memories tied up in our automobiles!|MjL 23 May 2013, 07:07 a.m.
|It was really a funny feeling driving out of that lot and not seeing our Monte anywhere! I know its going to be sold and not just junked, but still sad. We drive our cars here for a long time too. I told the salesman at Ray Dennison that we may not be frequent customers but we are loyal ones. All of my cars are from there except for Ashleys car. We fell into a great deal with her car and couldnt pass it up. |
Kind of funny...my son is driving a newer car than me! Dave is still the winner with his 2006 motorcycle. (Hes also the loser - 1988 Ford) :)
Tammy 23 May 2013, 07:26 a.m.
MjL 23 May 2013, 10:11 a.m.