1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found
shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and
never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the
face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!!
You can Live in California where ...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a
house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your
driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block
party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
You can Live in New York City where ... 1. You
say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature”.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where ... 1. You only have
four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose. 4. Sexy
lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where ... 1. You
can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
You can live in Colorado ;where ... 1. You carry
your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony
tail.
You can live in the Midwest where ... 1.
You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was
different!”
You can live in Florida where ... 1. You eat
dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and
cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5.
Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people, and have their turn
signals on (for miles).
2006