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21 Dec 2008, 00:00 a.m.
12/22/08 Joke «The Legel Report»
Just Like Frank

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.  He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing.  You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: ‘Who?’

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman.  He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete.  He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.  He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.  He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more...  He had a memory like a computer.  He remembered everybody’s birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything.  Not like me.  I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.  But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.  Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.  He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.  He was the perfect man!  He never made a mistake.  No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow.  How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank.  He died.  I’m married to his widow.”
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